~cherish~

I read through a meaningful story and would like to share...

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

\(>,<)/

It's the busiest semester yet. Now is the exam period and I feel that my busy life is taking a hit on my academic performance. I struggled in the last 2 papers and still have 4 more to go. I don't know what's going on with myself, seem to have lost my direction. I don't want to lost my dean's list title again like last year. Sometimes, I don't really understand myself. I can be very sporty and relax with sports but very competitive and serious when it comes to academic. What if I have double identity like Jekyll and Hyde? lol...
By the way, semester break is just around the corner and I'm looking forward for a good rest and meeting up with old friends again. =) GO ON, JING YI !

(correction : ok, maybe I am competitive in both sports and academic but it's totally different when I deal with it. =P)

thinking...

I've been with UM Toastmasters Club for 3 semesters. I admit that I've learned a lot from this club.

Last Saturday while I was still having my beauty sleep, (although it was already 11am) I received a call from a friend. He is no other than Ras Hadi, the president to be next year for the club.

"Hi there, Jing Yi, can I have a minute with you?" before he continued, I knew what he was going to tell me, and I was right. "Yes, go ahead," I replied. " Thank you for being with Toastmasters Club all this while and I would like to offer you a post, Vice President of Education that is. If you want to know, this is the second highest post in the club." I was thinking how to reply him. This is a very good opportunity as Toastmaster is an internationally-chartered organization, an eye-opening experience for a new 'Competent Communicator' like me. "When do you need my reply?", "By opening of next semester?"

I am thinking all the things that can happen to me. I can go for many competitions and meet more great speakers like my club advisors or even better. This requires a lot of planning as I have a feel that I might become club president the year after and it means representing UM for competition. Am I good enough to take on those great speakers out there. The previous presidents of this club have good english backgrounds and I'm just a typical chinese-educated people. I know I have improve since I join Toastmaster but not good enough like them. The ex-president represented Malaysia in ASEAN English Seminar in Singapore, the current president won many competitions and is the best speaker in division level (same as state level) and Hadi has yet to prove himself.

Am I thinking too much?

Should I accept the challenge?

What's next?

I've been busy throughout the semester.For the first 7 weeks, I'd put most of my time for MKTH, Design, Diabolo, SUKMUM, PC Fair and Larian Gemilang. At some point I really felt short of breath. But I wouldn't say that I'm tired, just I hope that everything don't come together at once. Some people told me that activities are just waste of time. I disagree...Imagine if I spent all my free time in my room studying, interneting, I'll definately go crazy. I'm the kind of people who cannot sit still and I rather walk around places than to sit in front of my desk.
I learned a lot things from all the activities I joined. I learn to smile in trouble and take things easier. I manage to conquer my stage fright (to certain extend) and I think I'm one of the most well-known people among the chinese in my college. They know me for my artistic skill (from MKTH Design), the dare devil (from Diabolo), athletic (from SUKMUM and Larian Gemilang) and "English-ed slang???" (from Toastmaster)...well, I should tell them I've more than that, maybe they will realise my martial art skill next semester (I consider to take Taekwondo for my co-curiculum in the coming semester because I found a friend that share the same fever like me)
I only have 4 years of university life and I'm now already in my 2nd year. After that, I'll need to face the world of reality, WORK~! So, why not enjoy my university life to the max? Life is too short to be miserable...note that!

~Diabolo~

I still remember the day they performed on stage for the first time...seeing my hardwork paid off in the best reward, I almost cried that time...They are great and possesed more talent than me. They will become a better team than mine...

Time really flies...I've been in charge of Diabolo for almost one year and it is time to past our batons to juniors. We are going to have a meeting today to seriously discuss on the future path that we are going to take and challenges we are going to face...

Somewhere deep in my heart feels that I won't be retiring from the activities...Instead I would continue my role in the team as a mentor guiding my juniors, supporting them through tough time...And I don't know if they need me more or less, they are more mature now and should be able to face the problems which will potentially bring them down. I will just become a silent observer and only speak out when I see anything unusual. ~PEACE~ (^,^)v

Toastmaster

After 3 semesters, I’ve finally attained my ‘Competent Communicator’ rank in Toastmaster. I’ve learned a lot of public speaking skills from the great speaker and it’s been fun. I started as a shy person in the club until now I dare to volunteer to speak anytime. I felt a great change in myself.

Somehow I feel that achieving ‘Competent Communicator’ in Toastmaster is same as achieving black belt 1st-DAN in Taekwondo-it’s just the beginning of a new chapter in my life. There are lots more to learn. I recall all my previous speeches:

1. The Ice Breaker – Silent Stump?
I speak about how sports have turned me from an introvert person to a confident me.

2. Organize Your Speech – Sleepless Night
I talk about my experience as the group leader in Design Bureau of Chinese Cultural Night. The tiredness and frustration at the beginning that ended with joy and happiness.

3. Get to the Point – River Conservation
Well, environmental awareness =)

4. How to Say It – The Importance of Sports
You can tell by looking at the title!

5. Your Body Speaks – The Sunshine Joy
I shared my wonder Outward Bound School experience with them.

6. Vocal Variety – A Day Spent in the Beach
A story I made to allow me to use lots and lots of conversation.

7. Research Your Topic – Survival of the Fittest
I talked about how are babies born (which made a lot of laughter) and the Theory of Evolution.

8. Get Comfortable with Visual Aids – PRO-bins
I introduced new recycling concept, PRO-bins which is initiated by my final year seniors.

9. Persuade with Power – Global Warming
Environmental issues…

10. Inspire Your Audience – The Spirit of Sports
I talked about my participation in sports and the experience with Ah Ma, Ah Mii and Ah Tong.


And yes, I get RM400 pocket money from my sponsor for the 10 speeches…Yeah~!!!

"Survival of the fittest"~Charles Darwin

31 January 2010, Larian Gemilang...


Most of my college friends were expecting something big from me. Well, they always see me jogging at Bukit Cinta (well-known for the tough uphill slope). I was the first to register for the race...receipt no. 0001 !!!
The receipt


I finished 5th with 2 professional kenyans and 2 full time runner from PJ ahead (4 of them were walk-in registered). I am proud of myself. 10km in 48minutes without regular practice. I received the loudest cheers from my supporters and some of them told me that I could have won some prize money if they don't accept the kenyans. I was unhappy to hear that...I was thinking,"This is typical Malaysian mentallity, how are we going to improve if we don't rise the standard of our sports? They are the ones who can simulate the nation's spirit to fight!!!"

Somehow I felt pity to those Kenyans, running is their only way to earn a living. As for Malaysians, we can find other jobs besides being a sportsperson. We run for fun but they run to survive. Their country were too poor to prepare enough job opportunities so representing their country is their only option. When you are desperated, you will strive upon your limit. That's why Malaysian cannot excel in sports. Our country is too peaceful and you won't die even if you don't work!


Hamper for 5th place =)
I enjoyed this race pretty much and sort of reminds me of the time I ran for school team~PEACE (^,^)v