Let Go

Sometimes opportunity knocks, sometimes it doesn't.

It was Tuesday morning, just before I leave for National Achievers Congress, I got an email, it's from Lay Theng, a super nice lady I know from Toastmaster. The e-mail says:

[Dear Jing Yi,

Good morning, and I hope this e-mail finds you well.

First of all, I wish to congratulate you for leading your Club to achieve such an excellent performance for this term. Please keep up the good job!

I wish to have a chat with you (or to meet up with you) on your plan for your involvement in Toastmasters next term.

Please let me know when I can give you a call. May I confirm that you mobile number is 017 250 2406?

Thank you.

--
Tan Lay Theng

Division W Governor Elect]

I went out slightly late replying her mail. She called me that night. I thought she's going to chat with me regarding the Club's achievement for my term since the Division Governor has been promoting the club in the Division Facebook group.

To my surprise, she offered me to become the Secretary for the coming Division W committee.

"I have observed you and your leadership over the year and I want you to join me in my Division W team. Will you join me?"

I had a sudden numb but I was honest,"Actually I have been considering to become the Area Governor but the problem is, I have a contract with Petronas and I don't know where I'll be working in the future, so I have to put myself out this year. I'm in shock right now because I've never thought that I'm capable to serve in the Division level. Thanks for offering but I would like have one day to think about it."

"Jing Yi, I respect your decision, I know that you are capable of serving this role with excellence and passion."

I had a long conversation with her that night. It was too sudden, it was the toughest Table Topics ever given by a Toastmaster.

I could be the youngest Division W committee ever~but should I?

As a Libra, I tend to be indecisive but I know I need to decide. I didn't turn to anyone and today, I replied.

[Dear Lay Theng,

First of all, I'm honored to be invited as one of the committee member in Division W for the coming term. As a Toastmaster, I have learned not to reject when someone ask me for a favor, I am sorry that I hesitated last night as I would normally say yes. I have been considering all the uncertainties that might happen after my graduation and it would be totally irresponsible for me to leave my work in the middle of my service. I have been thinking seriously about it and I think it would be unfair if others need to take up my role half way during the term. I would like to apologize that I do not deserve the post just yet. I believe there are more chances in the future for me to serve Division W. Thank you for your understanding.

Once again thank you.

Jing Yi

with passion to serve.]

I felt bad to turn her down, I denied the Law of Attraction, I said NO. I am always fortunate to receive unbearable help and guidance from other Toastmasters and Lay Theng is one of them. I wish to help her back so much because she's a true and humble leader. But I have failed to serve a great leader.

Life is all about making decisions. This is a painful one.

Letting go is one of the longest lines in the wisdom sheet, I have lots more to learn.

Three

At the beginning of my final year as undergraduate in the University of Malaya, I had made 3 little wishes, or should I say targets. My first target is academic target, second target is Toastmasters target and the last one is sports target.

I want to graduate with first class for my degree and it seems that I am on the right track. What I am doing right now is to enjoy the precious time with my coursemates.

I have achieved advanced communicator bronze and competent leader but I also want to achieve 'President Distinguished Club' status for my club during my term as the club president. It seems hard but I see the light recently. I tell myself to keep going, keep going! I am almost there.

As for sports, it's quite far away from me now, thanks to all the work that put me off the target. Perhaps a little bit more time but at least I know that I can at least run my first half marathon this June.

I know what I want for myself but I need many targets on the way.

Go, Jing Yi~!

MASUM 2012

Life is like racing. We don't get to choose the lane we run, the team we want or the competitors we race. We can say life is unfair. Hmmm...exactly~! But it doesn't mean that we should live on with it. I always believe that we can change our life. Not completely changing but I've been positive about many things in life.

We can choose to complain or we can choose to get over it. It's the choice we make that matters. And I choose to believe.

Those who complain can never learn to love. I always know that all the things I do are not meant to impress anyone. I never want to, I just want to improve myself, this I tell to myself everytime when I step onto the starting line. When I look up, it's the lane that I need to conquer. Good or bad, it depends on how I want to perform. And I know I want to bring out the best in myself. It doesn't matter if those on the adjacent lanes are national athletes, I just need to beat myself.

The most important thing is to finish strong to the best of your ability and feeling proud of all the efforts and sacrifice. And I have no complaints.

Tough decision

Life is about making decisions. We make hundred thousands decision in one day. I know life is always being tough on me, testing my body, mind and soul. I have no break.

I never try to capture attention in public but some how attention finds its way to me. I can run but not away from decision. I need to make decisions.

Sometimes, I will think this way, I don't want to offend any party. But then why should I strive so hard to impress those parties that don't even care how I feel.

Life is on going, I'm still in the journey. Nevertheless, win-win situation is always my ultimate direction. I know it seldom happen but at least I tried.

Speech contest

Spent one whole week thinking of what to speak in the coming international speech contest.

One week gone, deadline's near, doomed!

---

Heavy rain fell, idea's here, done!

Such a waste of my brain juice, I would rather use it for other things.

---

Busy busy, no time to practice.

Tomorrow tomorrow, the day the day,

Nervous but ever ready.

Chemistry X

When you chuck a panodol soluble into a glass of water, effervescence will take place vigorously and fill the glass with bubbles.

It took me long enough to realize that they are some of the greatest friends in my life. That's how I felt while making the video. It's boring to watch it over and over again alone. But the chemistry is totally different when you watch it with your classmates. No word can describe the touched heart.

That happened this evening. I'm so glad to see everyone felt the same as I did. As usual, things will always start slow. After capturing our precious moments, the old feeling filled the atmosphere and everyone just can't stop talking about our stories.

I love my classmates.

Life won't be the same without you.

Our 7th reunion video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S86UcB3fqo&feature=youtu.be

Sin Chao

Just before I leave the airport, Hanoi, Vietnam.

"Thank you for boarding Malaysia Airlines, the destination is Kuala Lumpur, the temperature at Kuala Lumpur is sunny with 30 degree celsius. Please remain seated until the take off...."

Strange feeling ran through my head. It was just like yesterday when I landed at Hanoi. The temperature was 13 degree celsius. My first flight abroad had just ended. A land that I can only know from the television screen appeared right in front of me. 13 degree celsius is too cold for tropical creature like me, 2 layers of clothes is too thin to cover my shivering body. Sin Chao, Vietnam!

Vietnam is a totally different world from Malaysia. Motorcycles rule the road, left hand drive and everyone is wearing sweaters. But yet the warm hospitality made me feel very comfortable.

The most unforgettable experience was to walk across heavy traffic without fear. I could have died a thousand times doing that in Malaysia. It was super duper scary at first but then culture integration makes me braver and braver till I can cross the busy streets on my own.

Eating on the streets was a special way to integrate yourself with Vietnam. Cold weather, a bowl of warm sticky rice with a cup of hot Vietnamese green tea, watching people carrying big stakes of goods on their bikes. And they honked a lot. When I say a lot, I really mean it. It's the best morning call even though my room was 17 storeys away from the 6a.m. street.

Ha Long Bay remains as mystery, a piece of untouched land, so peaceful, so pure, blessed with nature's touch. Simple amazing. It really deserves its place as one of the 7 natural wonders of the world and UNESCO Natural World Heritage Site.

These experiences couldn't be the same without the incredible 27 friends. Different culture, different background but fused harmoniously under one roof.

---

"Dear Passengers, we are reaching Kuala Lumpur International Airport soon..." I looked out, it's the familiar sunshine that I've been bathing with for 22 years, warm. Yes, it's home. I had promised not to cry. At least not in front of my 27 incredible friends. OK, just 2 drops of joy and cheers to mark an ending to this wonderful journey. (Probably because Eddie was crying harder next to me)

These few days have been awesome. I love Vietnam, the people, the food, the culture and most importantly the friendship.

Cam on, Hitachi.

Tick tock tick

December is half gone and I'm seriously running short of time. I've totally cut of all my workout time just to wrap things up. This is the part where things could easily fall apart. I have to keep myself firm.

Never forget about the important things in your life, I've mentioned it thousand times.

Of love, of passion shall never die

Everything will be fine

Keep that in mind

It's time to fly

Up high

Life

I

Positive (3)

Being told in the face that people would hire me for any job just because I wrote 'President of UM Toastmasters Club' in my resume.

It was such a great recognition for me and Toastmasters International. I have never regretted of the path I choose.

Achieving Advanced Communicator Bronze after 3 years in Toastmasters, I have achieved my first personal goal for Toastmasters this term, I am ready to go for more.

The heavy rain seems to wash everything down the drain...settling everything negative that is trying to bring me down this week. I keep myself positive.

At least I got the motivation to fuel till the end of semester. Bring it on.

Be strong. Believe. Be positive.

Terms and condition applied

Some acquaintance, we met and we said 'good bye!'

some friendship last a few days, like those I've met in camps.

some friendship shatter through time,

some just couldn't go deeper,

some worth sharing my heart

and some last forever.

We know that we are born with weaknesses, we learn to accept. But acceptance has its limit when we abuse it. I wonder why my heart volume is so variable for different people, sometimes it changes with time.

I am nice to all who enter my life, but not all leave with smile.

Friendship is not measured by the years we had nor by fun we had. I don't have a definition for friendship as anyone who makes my feel better than being alone is my friend, just don't hurt me.

'Words' can be 'sword' when you misplace it, stubbing right into my heart. After all the wounds, I can still be your friend but with terms and condition applied as my pierced heart will not be that strong again.

Effort speaks for itself

Just before the presentation and interview, with all the butterflies in my stomach

"No" has always been the answer in my life. Rejected by Matriculation, JPA.

I never blame, maybe I am not good enough.

Stephen Fernando once said, "The journey of a thousand mile begins with first putting on your shoes." Indeed, you need a pair of good shoes. In other words, you need to equip yourself with sufficient skills and right focus for the goals you want in life.

New things are never taken as a challenge as I see them as an opportunity to grow. This sounds philosophical but that is the reason why I enter Hitachi Young Leaders Initiative.

You must be the change if you want others to do so.

In the interview, I was asked,"what would you do to let people around you to listen to you? You are still so young."

I answered,"Age is not a factor. I have to become a leader if I want to change people. But to be a leader I must learn to sacrifice. Leader does not mean I am the one with the spotlight but the one with the most humble heart to serve. Take Mahatma Gandhi for example, he was chosen by his people but yet he was so humble in everything he did. People were inspired, not forced to obey. That's true leadership."

If you want to touch the crowd, you must first touch their hearts.

If you want to touch their hearts, you must first touch yourselves.

I guess I have touched theirs.

The more I grow, the more I learn to let go. I was confident but never over. I'll get it if I really deserve it. And it turned out to be great. I'm going to Hanoi, not to mention Ha Long Bay, a UNESCO Heritage Site. I'm so happy and even if I have to sacrifice my final exam. Oh well, to be a leader, I'm learning to sacrifice.

After all, I did put a lot of effort to learn and finally, I got the answer, "Yes".

And for the first time in my life, a 5 star experience. I feel like a princess. =D

Hot shower, cozy bed, things I can't afford, the minimum stay is RM700!

Oh yeah! 5 star cuisine. Too pretty to eat.

Haagen Dazs unlimited. The prefect treat after presentation and interview.

This little place of mine

This is a place where I can escape from reality. Things start to pack up in my first week, and it shows no signs of slowing down. I hope I don't go down.

I can no longer commit to old things that I love. I need to make sacrifice. To choose what is more important for me right now.

I must learn to face every challenges and remain standing at the end. It's tough and I always tell myself to get ready.

Stay strong, stay focus. Don't go down even when my shoulder is over-burdened.

A friend says,'learn to let go.' Another friend says,'don't give up.' I can't decide now. I need this little place to store my burden, till I'm ready to take it up again.

Budi bahasa budaya kita ?

13 Julai 2011- kereta yang dipandu Jing Yi telah dilanggar oleh sebuah kereta. (malas nak jelaskan prosesnya) Si ayah itu keluar dari keretanya, bersama dengan dua orang anaknya.

Saya memandu dalam si kuning.

Ayat pertama yang dia katakan pada saya, “Saya ‘stay’ dekat ‘lane’ saya”. (nada suara yang yakin).

Saya tersenyum, “macam mana encik nak ‘stay’ kat ‘lane’ sendiri sedangkan saya pandu kat ‘fast lane’? ‘Main road’ ni ada dua lorong dan sekiranya encik nak masuk dari simpang jalan pun kena ikut lorong kiri dulu baru masuk ke ‘fast lane’,” kata saya. (handal betul bahasa rojak saya sekarang)

Saya tak pandai berdebat tetapi saya berkeyakinan. Dia terdiam. Memang pun dia yang bersalah.

“Anak encik ‘OK’?” Tanya saya.

“OK…” kata dia sambil merokok.

Kami menunggu lebih kurang 45 minit untuk ke balai polis. Sepanjang masa itu, Jing Yi menunggu. Habis rokok lima puntung si ayah itu. Jing Yi menunggu, menunggu satu perkataan. Nampaknya perkataan ‘sorry’ adalah suatu perkataan yang menjatuhkan air muka.

Jing Yi tak marah tapi hanya hairan kenapa orang sekarang amat pentingkan air muka. Mungkin si ayah tersebut ingin kelihatan bermaruah di depan anak-anaknya. Tak berbaloi marah kerana orang yang angkuh dan ‘bermaruah’ itu.

Budi bahasa budaya kita

Teras panduan hidup manusia

Nak jadi rakyat kelas pertama

Jauh lagi perjalanannya

Adakah budi bahasa masih wujud dalam kalangan masyarakat kita?

MASUM 2011

I didn't expect that I will return for such prestigious competition after leaving the secondary school.

We had a coach who was totally irresponsible. Late for every training sessions, showed his face for only 2 mornings out of the 3 competition days, left the team without water on the last day and gave demotivating words to us. He does not understand the exhaustion of running under the hot sun and sizzling track.

UM management sucks. The stadium is 20 minutes on foot from the hostel and the 4 UM buses refused to take us to the stadium with reason saying that there were only 15 of us.

The manager loves us so much that we called her ‘Kak Ijan’, spending all her time arranging our schedule and taking care of our welfare.

Then the Dr Lela joined the team. We have no doctor in the team at the first place and she would come to the stadium at 8am everyday to give us treatment until the volleyball game in the opposite hall started. She returned to us once the volleyball game was over.

I salute all my teammate for putting up not just good, but great fights. After the all-star national runner team or so called UPM team, UM came 2^nd among all the universities in Malaysia and yes, we had only 15 people in the team. Each of us took many events which require a lot of physical and mental strength. We endured the process, fighting those national athletes and SUKMA athletes like soldiers. With bandages on our legs, we kept fighting till the last second. The doctor stopped the boy’s team from attempting the last event which was 400m relay because she couldn’t stand us from suffering more injuries.

In the girl's 400m relay final, I pulled my exhausted legs in the final hundred with excruciating pain on both my hamstring, I leaped myself forward to the finishing line before passing the baton to my teammate. We finished last in the relay but we were proud as the team of 4 was formed from the only 6 girls in UM team.

I love my teammates. Thanks for having me as one of you. I have learned so much from you. Thanks. And one more thing...4 golds, 8 silvers and 4 bronze from a team of 15 people, UM, you can take all the fame you want but our spirit stays deep within our hearts.

An unexpected bronze medal from 400m hurdles =D

Work

Walk in slowly
5 minutes late
Sit and stare at your surroundings
Chit chat for awhile
Walk to the pantry
Make a cup of coffee
Eat a packet of nasi lemak
Then turn on the computer
Read some online news
And start working when your boss walks in.

The norm in the office
and the country is facing unemployment problem.

While complaining about the unemployment
have you ever ask, 'Am I a good employee?'

While there are people out there searching for a job
are you jeopardizing their opportunities?

Walk in slowly 5 minutes late
Sit and stare at your surroundings
Chit chat for awhile
Walk to the pantry
Make a cup of coffee
Eat a packet of nasi lemak
Then turn on the computer
And start working when your boss walks in.

Sorry, this is just not my style.

The Gym Thingy

I don't know how, I don't know why, I just don't like to workout in the gym. Despite the well-equipped and air-conditioned space, I still don't like it. Maybe I have not come across a good gym yet.

I won't say that the UM weight gym is bad. In fact, it is quite good. Ventilation, temperature, equipment and everything. Maybe it's just that I could not stand those ego guys posing in front of the mirror especially when there are ladies in the gym. Self-indulged in their own world, I'd rather get some sunlight.

However, I won't deny the benefits of gym. It helps to improve your targeted muscle in no time IF you know how to use it. 3 gym sessions and I can't believe I can do 10 sets of hip extension (40 lifts per set at 90lbs) in less than 20 minutes although I did 200 x 110lbs for quadriceps and 200 x 40lbs for hamstrings in the first day. With these statistics, I know which muscle I should train more.

Perhaps I should not do too much of gym. So I will sneak out during the gym session to catch some fresh air. And still I prefer moving exercises like running, cycling and swimming under the Sun rather than becoming a workout machine and rely on statistics.

Finally, don't get kick by me now...you will die. =P

UM Toastees @ Edmat 33

3 evaluators for 40 speakers.
I have done even harder evaluation before.
But the number of evaluation is a new record for me.
Just imagine sitting down to listen and observe 40 people speaking in one night.
And you have only one minute to prepare for each evaluation.
It was so fortunate that three of us are used to multitask
performing not only evaluation but other roles such as ah-counter, grammarian and time keeper.

Multitasking...you learn it without knowing and you will know it when you need it.
We have done our best and it's great to give positive and encouraging feedback from the organizers and participants.
I think that they didn't expect much for us.
After all, we are still students and of the same age as them.

Vincent and Dr Devi have trained us well.
And not to forget Kimmy and Debbie (The best speakers ever from UM Toastmasters Club)
Not to say that they are our club instructor because there is no such role as instructor in Toastmasters.
I often take them as my source of motivation and inspiration.
I have learned a lot from them and lots more to learn in the future.

It's time to bring the club to President's Distinguished Club again.
I know it's tough but I want my name printed in the Hall of Fame.

3 out of 4

3 years

I need to focus for one more week and it's done!

I'm heading towards my final year soon.

I need to polish myself for my future

and at the same time

I want to go back to some of my favorite activities.

And the journey continues...

with more challenges ahead,

you can choose to be a leader or a follower,

you can choose to be a good and responsible leader or a lousy one,

you can choose to be a loyal and dedicated follower or a bad follower.

and I choose to be myself.

The freedom-lover, positive and well-focused in everything she has targeted to achieve.

Positive (2)

I am curious. Why some people always speak negative and demotivating words to themselves. It affects not only themselves but others as well. When someone does that I would turn away from that person.

You are pulling yourself down. Why do you want to involve me? They think I’m annoyed by their complaints but just think about it, whose fault is that?

It happens all the time.

Sometimes I wonder...

Are they playing psychology? Or it is just about the time management?

Maybe I can just self pretend as deaf and life goes on. I WON’T DEMOTIVATE OTHERS even I’m totally stressed out. At least I’m positive to myself when I find no positive energy around. Self-generated positive energy to keep things moving.

And it turns out that, I’m ahead of them. Psychologically and emotionally.

One good journey deserves another

This little girl was a shy one. When it got crowded, she backed off from the crowd. The incident in her primary education years gave her stage freight even until now. She thought she has no cure for her stage freight.

She found herself a platform, and wonder what the platform can offer to her. After all, it’s just a simple meeting and all you have to do is to attend. Soon, she was pushed to give her ice breaker speech.

After two years, the girl who almost cried in her first speech delivered her president’s speech, right in front of lecturer and corporate trainer, with no fear in her eyes.

She tries to inspire others with her story, about how she has gained confidence. One of her mentor, Dr. D told her, “your speech is inspiring, but you inspire us even more, it’s the transformation that we have seen from you.” Indeed, she knows how much I have grown up in my Toastmasters journey.

A quote from myself, “talent is not born naturally, it comes from your everyday training. The more you train, the more talented you are.”

I had a presentation two days ago. And the lecturer was very happy with my presentation. Dr. F said “Thank you, it’s a very good presentation,” followed by a round of applause from the floor. I survived the Q&A session from Dr. F. In fact, he didn’t even ask any question.

I was satisfied with myself too. After all, it’s my own hard work throughout these few years.

From a ‘silent stump’ (the title of my first speech) to a presentation that receives such a pleasing recognition wasn’t an easy journey. And talent is not the word to describe it. How about all the hard work, fear combat and brainstorm that I’ve gone through in every speech? I have put a lot of effort in this journey and I think that I deserved the recognition because one good journey deserves another. Who knows if I might be able to make money with my mouth one day, just like some of the great speakers that I’ve met during my Toastmasters journey.

And yet, I am still very shy and back of from the crowd unless being pushed to the stage.