To the next destination

Things start to settle as the semester comes to an end. But the journey call life will never stop.

This week is the week I've been waiting for. Time to think of some of the stupid decisions I've made. I need to become more mature.

I haven't decide on my next destination although Petronas has path the route for me. Many keep asking me why do I want to let go of the chance to do PHD straight away. If my future is not planned ahead then perhaps I would choose to become an academician, just like my parents.

Perhaps a Dr

Perhaps an Ir

Perhaps a DTM

Perhaps a Miss
Perhaps...perhaps... Life is always full of choices and there is no right or wrong to each.

And perhaps, it would be better if I focus on what to do NOW. And let time lead me to the next destination.

Tick tock tick

December is half gone and I'm seriously running short of time. I've totally cut of all my workout time just to wrap things up. This is the part where things could easily fall apart. I have to keep myself firm.

Never forget about the important things in your life, I've mentioned it thousand times.

Of love, of passion shall never die

Everything will be fine

Keep that in mind

It's time to fly

Up high

Life

I

Positive (3)

Being told in the face that people would hire me for any job just because I wrote 'President of UM Toastmasters Club' in my resume.

It was such a great recognition for me and Toastmasters International. I have never regretted of the path I choose.

Achieving Advanced Communicator Bronze after 3 years in Toastmasters, I have achieved my first personal goal for Toastmasters this term, I am ready to go for more.

The heavy rain seems to wash everything down the drain...settling everything negative that is trying to bring me down this week. I keep myself positive.

At least I got the motivation to fuel till the end of semester. Bring it on.

Be strong. Believe. Be positive.

Terms and condition applied

Some acquaintance, we met and we said 'good bye!'

some friendship last a few days, like those I've met in camps.

some friendship shatter through time,

some just couldn't go deeper,

some worth sharing my heart

and some last forever.

We know that we are born with weaknesses, we learn to accept. But acceptance has its limit when we abuse it. I wonder why my heart volume is so variable for different people, sometimes it changes with time.

I am nice to all who enter my life, but not all leave with smile.

Friendship is not measured by the years we had nor by fun we had. I don't have a definition for friendship as anyone who makes my feel better than being alone is my friend, just don't hurt me.

'Words' can be 'sword' when you misplace it, stubbing right into my heart. After all the wounds, I can still be your friend but with terms and condition applied as my pierced heart will not be that strong again.

Effort speaks for itself

Just before the presentation and interview, with all the butterflies in my stomach

"No" has always been the answer in my life. Rejected by Matriculation, JPA.

I never blame, maybe I am not good enough.

Stephen Fernando once said, "The journey of a thousand mile begins with first putting on your shoes." Indeed, you need a pair of good shoes. In other words, you need to equip yourself with sufficient skills and right focus for the goals you want in life.

New things are never taken as a challenge as I see them as an opportunity to grow. This sounds philosophical but that is the reason why I enter Hitachi Young Leaders Initiative.

You must be the change if you want others to do so.

In the interview, I was asked,"what would you do to let people around you to listen to you? You are still so young."

I answered,"Age is not a factor. I have to become a leader if I want to change people. But to be a leader I must learn to sacrifice. Leader does not mean I am the one with the spotlight but the one with the most humble heart to serve. Take Mahatma Gandhi for example, he was chosen by his people but yet he was so humble in everything he did. People were inspired, not forced to obey. That's true leadership."

If you want to touch the crowd, you must first touch their hearts.

If you want to touch their hearts, you must first touch yourselves.

I guess I have touched theirs.

The more I grow, the more I learn to let go. I was confident but never over. I'll get it if I really deserve it. And it turned out to be great. I'm going to Hanoi, not to mention Ha Long Bay, a UNESCO Heritage Site. I'm so happy and even if I have to sacrifice my final exam. Oh well, to be a leader, I'm learning to sacrifice.

After all, I did put a lot of effort to learn and finally, I got the answer, "Yes".

And for the first time in my life, a 5 star experience. I feel like a princess. =D

Hot shower, cozy bed, things I can't afford, the minimum stay is RM700!

Oh yeah! 5 star cuisine. Too pretty to eat.

Haagen Dazs unlimited. The prefect treat after presentation and interview.

Help

One can have many friends but not many helpers.

One's life is written by itself.

Help will not always come to it.

If you want to know who is being helpful to you, put yourself into something that others are better at. You will learn who is being a helpful friend to you.

But never give up when there is no help. As you are the factor to determine success. Even when there is no help, you can help yourself.

This is life. You decide on what you want to become.

And people will look at you differently when you do succeed.

This little place of mine

This is a place where I can escape from reality. Things start to pack up in my first week, and it shows no signs of slowing down. I hope I don't go down.

I can no longer commit to old things that I love. I need to make sacrifice. To choose what is more important for me right now.

I must learn to face every challenges and remain standing at the end. It's tough and I always tell myself to get ready.

Stay strong, stay focus. Don't go down even when my shoulder is over-burdened.

A friend says,'learn to let go.' Another friend says,'don't give up.' I can't decide now. I need this little place to store my burden, till I'm ready to take it up again.

legendary athlete from my eyes

'Legend' means one that inspires legends or achieve legendary fame. In sports, world legends are often named for athletes who have won championship titles or made great contributions to sports and other athletes. In my opinion, not all world champions deserve the word 'Legend'. I have paid lots of interest in sports since young and I would say that my active life is very much inspired by some athletes who earned my respect as 'legendary athletes'.

Yelena Isinbayeva, the lady who always strives to go beyond the limits. Being the first woman to clear 5 meter height in pole vault, she is in the class of her own by breaking 27 world records and completely unbeatable from 2004-2009. I wonder how she can stay focus and handle the pressure as top athlete while delivering flawless jumps in every competition.

Lance Armstrong, the man who rise from the bottom of his life to win Tour de France for 7 consecutive years. He was a testicular cancer survivor and he had certainly inspired many cancer patience that 'it's not the end of your life when you are diagnosed with cancer'. He is a positive thinker and never take impossible as his answer.

The journey called life

When I was 10, I wished I can grow more in inches.

I was the shortest among my friends. I entered standard 5 and often got teased for my height. All I did was to smile and pretend that they were just joking with me, not laughing at me.

When I was 13, I wished I can grow more in courage.

I was over confident for a race and I was defeated despite it was an all out run. I laid on the grass, tears bursting out and I wondered. Why I couldn't take that failure. What's worse than losing to others is to lose to yourself.

When I was 14, I wished I can grow more in strength.

I won 800m and 1500m and I was just short of one more victory to claim the best female athlete. I failed. I was just not strong enough. I took failure with calm and humble.

When I was 16, I wished I can grow more in confidence.

I never believed I won the title which I've been fighting for years.

When I was 18, I wished I can grow more in leadership.

I wanted to help my coach when I returned to the school team. They lost the year after I finished Form 5. I wanted to boost their spirit, I should be their leader. But I wasn't good enough.

When I was 20, I wished I can grow more in effectiveness.

Laziness has no cure. My lay-back personality must be changed. I need better self management.

I realised that I chase after different things in different stages of my life. In the end, I need lots and lots of wisdom. This is life, journeyed by my feet, authored by my hands. What I have in mind---keep going, you will never know what's around the corner until you reach there. Know what you want and you will reach there. Eventually.

Budi bahasa budaya kita ?

13 Julai 2011- kereta yang dipandu Jing Yi telah dilanggar oleh sebuah kereta. (malas nak jelaskan prosesnya) Si ayah itu keluar dari keretanya, bersama dengan dua orang anaknya.

Saya memandu dalam si kuning.

Ayat pertama yang dia katakan pada saya, “Saya ‘stay’ dekat ‘lane’ saya”. (nada suara yang yakin).

Saya tersenyum, “macam mana encik nak ‘stay’ kat ‘lane’ sendiri sedangkan saya pandu kat ‘fast lane’? ‘Main road’ ni ada dua lorong dan sekiranya encik nak masuk dari simpang jalan pun kena ikut lorong kiri dulu baru masuk ke ‘fast lane’,” kata saya. (handal betul bahasa rojak saya sekarang)

Saya tak pandai berdebat tetapi saya berkeyakinan. Dia terdiam. Memang pun dia yang bersalah.

“Anak encik ‘OK’?” Tanya saya.

“OK…” kata dia sambil merokok.

Kami menunggu lebih kurang 45 minit untuk ke balai polis. Sepanjang masa itu, Jing Yi menunggu. Habis rokok lima puntung si ayah itu. Jing Yi menunggu, menunggu satu perkataan. Nampaknya perkataan ‘sorry’ adalah suatu perkataan yang menjatuhkan air muka.

Jing Yi tak marah tapi hanya hairan kenapa orang sekarang amat pentingkan air muka. Mungkin si ayah tersebut ingin kelihatan bermaruah di depan anak-anaknya. Tak berbaloi marah kerana orang yang angkuh dan ‘bermaruah’ itu.

Budi bahasa budaya kita

Teras panduan hidup manusia

Nak jadi rakyat kelas pertama

Jauh lagi perjalanannya

Adakah budi bahasa masih wujud dalam kalangan masyarakat kita?

when silent speaks

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King Jr

I respect this man for his bravery and contribution to civil rights. He is a hero. I do not know that our dear prime minister is a big fan of him too until today. I wish everything would turn back to normal after the peaceful rally by Bersih 2.0 until he lied. The rally shows the world of our maturity, unity and desire for clean and fair election. I am proud to be a Malaysian.

Our prime minister is really good in speaking, i think he took Martin Luther King Jr as his role model in speaking. Tell you what...you failed in imitating his style especially the enthusiasm. As you were talking, your eyes were filled with fear, fear of the lies coming out from your mouth. You could not even look into your people's eyes when you are speaking.

He said the rally only represented minority and he urged those 'majority' to voice out their opinions. I classified myself as one of the majority in this matter (since I did not go to the rally) and this is what I want to say about Bersih 2.0.

My Saturday should be a relaxing and calm one but I couldn't stop myself from browsing through the internet and look for the latest news about Bersih 2.0.

I should be there.

If not of the stupid 'Akta Universiti dan Kolej Universiti 1971' which I had signed in order to enter local university I should be walking on that streets with those people. They were once the 'silent majority'. They are just ordinary people and do you think they would risk their lives just to create havoc out of nothing? They are Malaysians who can no longer bear your cruelty. They stood up for us and I salute them.

The best thing I had ever done on my 21st birthday was to walk to the post office and register myself as a voter. I can still remember that moment...

The officer at the counter was starring at me and asked,' do you want to register today? Why so soon?'
And I replied,'do I have to be 21 year and 1 day old to do this?'
And for the first time ever I walked out from post office with a big smile.

I am patiently waiting for my first general election and here is my message for our dear prime minister...

"Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase."
-Martin Luther King Jr

We are just ordinary people but I believe that we can be the heroes in ourselves.

MASUM 2011

I didn't expect that I will return for such prestigious competition after leaving the secondary school.

We had a coach who was totally irresponsible. Late for every training sessions, showed his face for only 2 mornings out of the 3 competition days, left the team without water on the last day and gave demotivating words to us. He does not understand the exhaustion of running under the hot sun and sizzling track.

UM management sucks. The stadium is 20 minutes on foot from the hostel and the 4 UM buses refused to take us to the stadium with reason saying that there were only 15 of us.

The manager loves us so much that we called her ‘Kak Ijan’, spending all her time arranging our schedule and taking care of our welfare.

Then the Dr Lela joined the team. We have no doctor in the team at the first place and she would come to the stadium at 8am everyday to give us treatment until the volleyball game in the opposite hall started. She returned to us once the volleyball game was over.

I salute all my teammate for putting up not just good, but great fights. After the all-star national runner team or so called UPM team, UM came 2^nd among all the universities in Malaysia and yes, we had only 15 people in the team. Each of us took many events which require a lot of physical and mental strength. We endured the process, fighting those national athletes and SUKMA athletes like soldiers. With bandages on our legs, we kept fighting till the last second. The doctor stopped the boy’s team from attempting the last event which was 400m relay because she couldn’t stand us from suffering more injuries.

In the girl's 400m relay final, I pulled my exhausted legs in the final hundred with excruciating pain on both my hamstring, I leaped myself forward to the finishing line before passing the baton to my teammate. We finished last in the relay but we were proud as the team of 4 was formed from the only 6 girls in UM team.

I love my teammates. Thanks for having me as one of you. I have learned so much from you. Thanks. And one more thing...4 golds, 8 silvers and 4 bronze from a team of 15 people, UM, you can take all the fame you want but our spirit stays deep within our hearts.

An unexpected bronze medal from 400m hurdles =D

Work

Walk in slowly
5 minutes late
Sit and stare at your surroundings
Chit chat for awhile
Walk to the pantry
Make a cup of coffee
Eat a packet of nasi lemak
Then turn on the computer
Read some online news
And start working when your boss walks in.

The norm in the office
and the country is facing unemployment problem.

While complaining about the unemployment
have you ever ask, 'Am I a good employee?'

While there are people out there searching for a job
are you jeopardizing their opportunities?

Walk in slowly 5 minutes late
Sit and stare at your surroundings
Chit chat for awhile
Walk to the pantry
Make a cup of coffee
Eat a packet of nasi lemak
Then turn on the computer
And start working when your boss walks in.

Sorry, this is just not my style.

The Gym Thingy

I don't know how, I don't know why, I just don't like to workout in the gym. Despite the well-equipped and air-conditioned space, I still don't like it. Maybe I have not come across a good gym yet.

I won't say that the UM weight gym is bad. In fact, it is quite good. Ventilation, temperature, equipment and everything. Maybe it's just that I could not stand those ego guys posing in front of the mirror especially when there are ladies in the gym. Self-indulged in their own world, I'd rather get some sunlight.

However, I won't deny the benefits of gym. It helps to improve your targeted muscle in no time IF you know how to use it. 3 gym sessions and I can't believe I can do 10 sets of hip extension (40 lifts per set at 90lbs) in less than 20 minutes although I did 200 x 110lbs for quadriceps and 200 x 40lbs for hamstrings in the first day. With these statistics, I know which muscle I should train more.

Perhaps I should not do too much of gym. So I will sneak out during the gym session to catch some fresh air. And still I prefer moving exercises like running, cycling and swimming under the Sun rather than becoming a workout machine and rely on statistics.

Finally, don't get kick by me now...you will die. =P

Here it comes again

When I put something into

deep thought

great wish

strong mind

big dream

they will come to me

in the most unusual way

at the most unusual time.

To test and to see if I am ready

I know I will be mentally and physically exhausted

but I also know that I will be psychologically strong.

I am ready

for what's coming to me.

I am ready

to face these few weeks of toughness.

As I am always ready.

UM Toastees @ Edmat 33

3 evaluators for 40 speakers.
I have done even harder evaluation before.
But the number of evaluation is a new record for me.
Just imagine sitting down to listen and observe 40 people speaking in one night.
And you have only one minute to prepare for each evaluation.
It was so fortunate that three of us are used to multitask
performing not only evaluation but other roles such as ah-counter, grammarian and time keeper.

Multitasking...you learn it without knowing and you will know it when you need it.
We have done our best and it's great to give positive and encouraging feedback from the organizers and participants.
I think that they didn't expect much for us.
After all, we are still students and of the same age as them.

Vincent and Dr Devi have trained us well.
And not to forget Kimmy and Debbie (The best speakers ever from UM Toastmasters Club)
Not to say that they are our club instructor because there is no such role as instructor in Toastmasters.
I often take them as my source of motivation and inspiration.
I have learned a lot from them and lots more to learn in the future.

It's time to bring the club to President's Distinguished Club again.
I know it's tough but I want my name printed in the Hall of Fame.

Focus

Strongly focus on what I need and what I want

Believe in it and it will eventually come to me

This happens sometimes

Although it may come to me

Unpredictably

Unexpectedly

Sometimes I forget about it

But the subconsciousness will slowly awake

And I am back in the game again

3 out of 4

3 years

I need to focus for one more week and it's done!

I'm heading towards my final year soon.

I need to polish myself for my future

and at the same time

I want to go back to some of my favorite activities.

And the journey continues...

with more challenges ahead,

you can choose to be a leader or a follower,

you can choose to be a good and responsible leader or a lousy one,

you can choose to be a loyal and dedicated follower or a bad follower.

and I choose to be myself.

The freedom-lover, positive and well-focused in everything she has targeted to achieve.

Positive (2)

I am curious. Why some people always speak negative and demotivating words to themselves. It affects not only themselves but others as well. When someone does that I would turn away from that person.

You are pulling yourself down. Why do you want to involve me? They think I’m annoyed by their complaints but just think about it, whose fault is that?

It happens all the time.

Sometimes I wonder...

Are they playing psychology? Or it is just about the time management?

Maybe I can just self pretend as deaf and life goes on. I WON’T DEMOTIVATE OTHERS even I’m totally stressed out. At least I’m positive to myself when I find no positive energy around. Self-generated positive energy to keep things moving.

And it turns out that, I’m ahead of them. Psychologically and emotionally.

Positive

When you can run with your eyes close, you are not exercising, you are meditating. Of course, you have to be very familiar with the route.

It feels so calm when you hear nothing else but your footsteps and breathing. You won't feel tired during that time although it's just 3 seconds. I always do that especially when I feel stress. I seldom express stress to people, I prefer to lose it somewhere deep in my thought.

Life is a long distance run. You have a long journey ahead and you have to take it step by step. You can slow down but don't ever stop because you need extra energy to start all over again.

Whenever you feel tired, slow down and feel the energy around you. Take the positive energy and leave those negative ones. You will get something unexpected.

One good journey deserves another

This little girl was a shy one. When it got crowded, she backed off from the crowd. The incident in her primary education years gave her stage freight even until now. She thought she has no cure for her stage freight.

She found herself a platform, and wonder what the platform can offer to her. After all, it’s just a simple meeting and all you have to do is to attend. Soon, she was pushed to give her ice breaker speech.

After two years, the girl who almost cried in her first speech delivered her president’s speech, right in front of lecturer and corporate trainer, with no fear in her eyes.

She tries to inspire others with her story, about how she has gained confidence. One of her mentor, Dr. D told her, “your speech is inspiring, but you inspire us even more, it’s the transformation that we have seen from you.” Indeed, she knows how much I have grown up in my Toastmasters journey.

A quote from myself, “talent is not born naturally, it comes from your everyday training. The more you train, the more talented you are.”

I had a presentation two days ago. And the lecturer was very happy with my presentation. Dr. F said “Thank you, it’s a very good presentation,” followed by a round of applause from the floor. I survived the Q&A session from Dr. F. In fact, he didn’t even ask any question.

I was satisfied with myself too. After all, it’s my own hard work throughout these few years.

From a ‘silent stump’ (the title of my first speech) to a presentation that receives such a pleasing recognition wasn’t an easy journey. And talent is not the word to describe it. How about all the hard work, fear combat and brainstorm that I’ve gone through in every speech? I have put a lot of effort in this journey and I think that I deserved the recognition because one good journey deserves another. Who knows if I might be able to make money with my mouth one day, just like some of the great speakers that I’ve met during my Toastmasters journey.

And yet, I am still very shy and back of from the crowd unless being pushed to the stage.

Seeing is believing?

Sometimes, I sit down and start thinking of all the happenings. The earthquake and the people around me. I realized that our thinking is often affected by others.

Take the Japanese nuclear plant incident for example. People posted all over facebook, trying to spread the news about the radiation that was about to hit Malaysia and to stay away from the rain. I got myself soaking wet that day and started to worry if the news was true. It was a fraud and I started asking, 'Hey people, do you ever verify the facts posted on facebook? Don't just simply copy and post what ever you read. You may end up creating rumors of fake news among your friends.'

I blame no one except myself. "Seeing is believing" but sometimes it's wrong even if you see it for yourself.

Hmmm...then I believe there is something to do with our education system. Malaysians especially students are taught to accept whatever that is given by teachers, even if you don't understand. We never learn to analyse facts and just simply swallow everything without digesting.

Genius

Recently I posted on my facebook, "Jing Yi changes her perception towards the definition of 'talented person'. And realizes that she is not talented at all." And I commented, "genius has no difference with idiot if you get kick around like an empty can. Thanks guys, I'm fine here...just admiring the special kind of talent that I have yet to learn."

People change their perception towards one certain thing throughout the different stages in their life. Genius is not the one score full mark in the class. Genius is not the one who graduates with first class honor. Look at those successful people out there, the rich people, the presidents, the prime ministers. They are not genius ones during their academic years but they outshine their friends later on when they enter the society. While the genius end up being an ordinary person or even working under the less genius people.

Here is my definition for genius. Genius is a person with the ability to achieve whatever their want to achieve by manipulating the 'so-called genius' to gain advantages over to itself. In other word, make use people's knowledge and skills and you gain profit out of their effort. Those successful people are really good in delegating works.

I have experienced it on that day I posted the status. OK! I admit that case is the reason for such thoughts. I have prepared everything as what I am doing for weeks. The name not to be mentioned walked in and told me that 'I know who' is not coming. One week back, 'I know who' self volunteered to play an important role. And 'I know who' threw a bomb to me, just minutes before things were about to start. And I ended up covering 'I know who's role with myself having some other things to play as well.

I managed to pull it off but I am not sure what is 'I know who' going to throw on me next week. I am fearless since that is what 'I know who' does to me almost all the time. 'I know who' is a true genius and I felt so untalented. Being treated like an empty can, kick around all the time. Hmmm...perhaps 'I know who' is training my critical and creative thinking skills.

What's for next week?

Next

Stepping out from the comfort zone is something hard for many people. As for me, I did it a few times. Wilderness Adventure, Outward Bound, Mount Kinabalu, marathons.

I realised that you will never understand the potential you have in yourself. The only way is to do things that you won't do in daily life.

And now, I'm thinking of the next out-of-comfort zone thing to do. Hmmm, perhaps...