The Chemistry of People~1

MK(Malam Kebudayaan) is just around the corner. From the past, I knew that things won't go on smoothly. And it happened. As usual, my team are practicing our diabolo songs for the night. We are seriously running out of time. One person have more than one activity on the go, somehow they find hard to squeeze out their time for practice and they are lagging behind. And my worst nightmare occur. Sir went outstation for a week which left us, the 2nd years to guide the 1st years. The 2nd year manage to keep out with time but my juniors didn't. They have been practising for 3 weeks and still unable to catch up with sir's requirement. Since sir was not around, the 2nd years decided to change the whole thing(to make it more simple). One week after that, they still unable to fit in the song and sir had returned. Off course, sir said some harsh words to juniors and his words had hit them really hard. I started to feel that things are falling apart, MK is just one week from now...

Somehow I think that I have the responsibility on this incident. Am I not doing my job as a assistant captain? We had a post mortem last night and we wanted juniors to speak out their problems...it turned out that they don't blame us, instead we were too pampering them. They rely too much on us. But after I settled down, I begin to think that "Even chemical reactions involve at least two reactants. How a chemical reaction would take place if there is only one reactant?" I've done my best to train them...and it's time for them to grow up. After all, they are university students too, adults...no longer children. They must learn and take it as a lesson. Nevertheless, I hope the sharing last night can enlighten the fire and spirit in them and walk on to the stage as a team.

One week left, and I hope that the chemistry of sharing yesterday can bring up the whole team again.

100% effort doesn’t mean 100% success

I always think…if only I can go back in time…if…

But the fact is what I can do is to accept the truth that the thing had happened. I'm not a perfectionist but I get frustrated when things don't meet my expectation...worst still when that thing affects others...due to my carelessness... Telling myself I must perform well and do better for my team but the more I try, the more I fail to reach my aim. Am I setting my goal too high or the aims can only be achieved in my dreams…and dreams remain as dreams…

And why people always want something big from me? I have things that I’m passionate about and sometimes I have to give up in order to give in. I never want anything in return but don’t just take me for granted. I’m a normal human being, an ordinary person who just want to lead a simple and happy life. That’s just the thing I’m looking for, it’s not hard after all. Why???

(wrote with frustration)

~Past and Present~

Oldmates, old times, sweet and sour memories shall never die,
the time we ruled the tracks shall never fly...

Design, diabolo with you I share my love,
the future is ours and let's enjoy it together...

Sukmum brings back my old times and MK writes down a new chapter in my life...

Whatever the future will be I will always be ready...

Old passion and new love I couldn't decide so I will have them both...

Just bless me with no ghosts from the past will haunt me...

If this is the road not taken then I will challenge myself to it...

Telling myself happiness and accomplishment awaits my in the end then shall be it...