nervous is good

Haih...the same old nervousness again. I'll be racing for 10km on Saturday and I can feel that the nerves are building up.

Experience, what is it actually? Why do I still feel so nervous everytime before a race? I have a lot of race experience and why am I nervous? These are the questions frequently asked to myself.

Soon, as those experience grown into wisdom, I learnt that is good to feel nervous. That means I still want to win. Being an experienced runner doesn't mean you don't feel nervous about racing, it's how you turn those stresses and pressure into nervousness that can boost you to victory. Those winning instinct started to come back again and I would like to taste the fruit of success. At least top 3 this time. Hmm...it's a small race after all. Grrr...

On second thought, top 10 is good enough for me. I prefer a slow and consistent start.

IQ zero days

I felt like a stupid these few days, even my lecturers and coursemates said so.

How to say? pH=-log[H+] and when you have HCl of 2.0M, you will get pH in negative value. Hmm...isn't that pH is scaled from 1 to 14. This was out of scale. It took me days to figure out the answer, that was after I seek answer from Lin Hui and Google.

Second thing, I accidentally, unconciously wrote my friend's name when signing the lecture attendance. How idiot! =S

Next thing, I realised I lost all my integration skill that I got all wrong in my quiz! Absolutely stupid. The fat fat lecturer said it was a silly mistake. Then I asked my friend,"am I stupid?" and she said,"Yes, you are!" =(

Finally, mom bought me a pair of sandals and she said they can last for years. I proved her wrong when I brushed my foot against the road while looking for parking this morning. And I ended up walking like a penguin whole day.

Enough of those stupidness I got myself into. I think I need to figure some ways to stop it. One way is to stop learning as some people say,'the more you learn, more stupid you get'. The other way is to keep learning because some other people say,'experience is the best teacher'. What? Too stupid to decide on that...

The path I refuse to take

I always remember that she once told me,"Budak yang ikhlas ialah budak yang akan berjaya." I don't have many mentors in my life and she is one of the very few who guides me through the years. I follow her guidance but somehow I find it hard to apply it in my uni life.

People take your effort for granted and you should be thankful when they don't take your effort as their effort. I have seen enough and I have ___how to say? Evolved? Evolve to become more adaptable to this cruel environment. Yes, the world is not round and there is nothing you can do to make the world goes round. At least I have learnt to be a little bit more selfish and 'cunning as a fox' so that I don't get taken for granted by others easily.

Someone says that don't judge a book by its cover but trust me, some people can be judged from the first impression and I get it right sometimes. Next thing, becareful of the way of speaking and doing things because eyes are watching. One small mistake and the whole world will know.

I may sound scary and very much a plotter but that is how I behave only when I feel threatened. You know, the survivor instinct. I'm still the old me who is quiet yet noisy, smile too little with strangers and an obedient follower.

to smile or not to smile =S

This semester's time table is completely wierdo. I have one hour class and 3 hours lab on Monday and no class at all on Friday but Tuesday to Thursday is a torn of mind. I don't even want to talk about it.

Tuesday, I will have back to back classes from 11am to 7pm ( no lunch at all); Wednesday 9am to 5pm (with one hour of lunch break), thinking that the day might be over, Toastmaster meeting follows right after the class and if I exclude the exco meeting, it would been a merry day if the meeting finishes by 8pm; Wednesday might have been hard but wait till you see Thurday. It's an early morning class at 8am, followed by a non-stop marathon of lecture from 11am to 5pm. It's not the end yet, the two hours killer subject by the infamous Baharuddin continues at 8pm.

Hopefully I don't get skinny (skip lunch) or fatty (bulk dinner) in the end of the semester.

And Friday and the rest of my weekend are heaven-days for me to sleep as much as I want to prepare myself for another torturous week to come. I can hardly describe the time table. Yes, I want holiday on Friday but I don't like to have marathon-like lecture on the other days. @_@

The mountain beyond the clouds

Strange, I wrote 2 posts within these few days but I have to keep those amazing memories and experiences before I'm too busy to remember. Today is the second day of my third year and I already have many paper works to do. Oh, I wished I can stay at Sabah for few more days. Miss the calm sea and silent mountains because they are so soothing to look at.


Today is the 5th day after the climb to the peak as well. I set only one target for Mount Kinabalu adventure, that is the Low's Peak which is the highest point of the mountain. And yes, I did it. It was just 10 days before I found out about this trip and took me less than 3 seconds to decide, I never regreted.


I couldn't find a word to describe. If I have to say, it's simply AMAZING. There are so many wonderful things in the mountain that you have to see for yourself. Megabiodiversity, environment, the hike, the rock and many more that we don't get to see in everyday life. This is certainly an eye-opening experience for those who love the natural environment and wish to escape from the busy-hussle life.


I climbed the 4th highest mountain in Malay Archipelago and it makes me want for more. I'm looking for another mountain beyond the clouds, probably after I graduate and have some financial stability because mountain climbing can be costly sometimes. =)


I never know my limit until I put myself to the ultimate challenge. I want those activities and adventure to fill my life and experience until I'm too old to do so.


Finally, looking back in those photos reminds me of the poster in Lin Hui's study table 'Your attitude determines your altitude' the mind is the factor that brought me to the peak of the mountain.

The land below the wind

This was my first flight and the destination was Sabah. The first thing I noticed was all the plat number on the cars start with S and end with alphabet (A,K,Y etc)

I came here just to climb the mountain. Yup, Mount Kinabalu. On the way, I felt quite comfortable because I was worrying about getting cultural shock here. It turned out to be fine. Well, except for the Catholic churches, I accounted over 20 of them and only 2 mosques on the way to Kinabalu Park.

Hmmm...I kinda love this place as it is very peaceful and secured, unlike those busy and never-ending business back in uni life. This is definately the type of vacation detination before I end my sophomore year and start my third year. The state capital city, Kota Kinabalu, is a nice city, the size is just like Teluk Intan or Kuala Lumpur in the 70's.

I know I will return for more.

To the rescue

It has been years since I rear dog. Months ago, two stray dogs came to my home and became our house dog. The male dog is named CharSio (although sometimes my dad would call it GehQiang, meaning toothpick) and the female one is named Mary (but I insist calling it Maria for some unexplainable reasons =S). CharSio is naughty, energetic and playful while Maria is more gentle and shy. The dogs have become a part of my family. (although I don’t really take them in as much as my little sisters because stray dogs are very independent and like to switch area sometimes, so they may leave the home anytime)

Last Saturday evening, I took two plates of food to feed them. CharSio was waiting at the front door as usual but Maria did not. I gave one plate of the food to CharSio as I called out Maria’s name all over the compound but she was nowhere to be seen. I thought she might have gone to the food centre nearby for some stray food so I kept the food till the bedtime and decided to feed CharSio with Maria’s share.

The next day my whole family went to Puchong to install and paint our new house. Before we leave the house, Maria was still away. Since the dog was a stray dog, it would be normal that it went out for snack like it always did.

Tuesday, we packed for home. On the way, we had BakKutTeh as lunch at Klang and stopped at Bukit Melawati for awhile before heading home. On the way, mom said that Maria might have left the home to other places. Made sense. When we reach home, CharSio welcomed us with his tail wigging, accompanied by XiaoTou. (a newcomer dog with a very small body size) Still, Maria was absent.

As I walked to the gate, I heard dog barking from a distance. I was so sure that it was Maria. Zhuang, Mom and I quickly walked to the sound. We found Maria in the final, locked in the bedroom of an empty house which is a few units from my house. She rushed out from the house, greeted by CharSio with happy barks which I can tell from the way he jumped around Maria’s skinny body. I noticed she had several wounds all over her body.

Who in the hack in this world would have done that to a kind dog? Heartless, cruel and totally inhumane. She must have been locked in the house since last Saturday, four days without food and water. I was curious of why the dog did not give any responds when I was looking for her that Saturday.

We fed her with a loaf of bread brought from Tesco and of course, CharSio shared the reward. The evening was a peaceful and happy one.